


Cold

by hedatopaz



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Post-Lexa death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 09:59:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16851913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedatopaz/pseuds/hedatopaz
Summary: Everything was cold without her.





	Cold

**Author's Note:**

> I recently suffered a loss and wrote this short piece to help cope. Prepare yourself for angst and I hope you will enjoy.

Everything was cold without her. Waking up was cold, going to sleep was cold, and everything in between was cold. It was a bitter, biting cold, the type that closed up your lungs and took your breath away. Clarke could never seem to escape it. She truly believed she’d never find warmth again

“ _I loved her, Mom._ ”

“ _I know_.”

And life may have been about more than surviving, but even that seemed pointless. Clarke would join her if she didn’t have so many people she’d leave behind. She’d only transfer the pain and continue the cycle. Her people needed her, her mother, Bellamy, her friends, and all the others who looked to her to lead them.

“ _I bear it so they don’t have to_.”

But, what if she couldn’t hear it? She’d watch her friends tortured, herself as well. She’d lost her father. She’d lost Wells. She’d lost Finn. But, _this_ , this was different.

She hated how everyone walked on eggshells after Finn. Now she almost missed it. She had found meaning in Lexa, and lost it soon after. She’d gotten everything she wanted, and had it ripped away from her in the form of a small stray bullet. That bullet had sentenced Lexa to death, and might as well have sentenced Clarke as well.

“ _Maybe someday you and I will owe nothing more to our people_.”

“ _I hope so_.”

Their someday never came.

The cold was still bitter, but the crashing winds started to come farther apart. She had a world to save, and sometimes she would even forget. For nothing more than a millisecond, she would forget.

Then, the cold would choke her throat and her tears would freeze halfway down her cheeks. She’d break into unsteady sobs because she couldn’t touch her one last time. She’d wish to tell her, just once more, that she loved her, that she would always love her.

She could hardly believe it when her wish came true. In the city of light, with threat, with blood, with fear, she finally felt at home again.

“ _I love you_.”

“ _I’ll always be with you._ ”

The cold never left, but eventually Clarke found shelter, she found cover, she found solace.

“ _Clarke will be safe here, under my protection._ ”

She found safety…and that was good enough.

 


End file.
